Social Emotional Learning: What it looks like when it is working

I could start by providing a very technical and specific definition for social emotional learning but I’d rather not. Instead, let me simplify it for you by stating that social emotional learning is about relationships. It is the way that educators use and model appropriate and effective behavior to ensure equity in order to help students manage their emotions so that they can be successful in and outside of the classroom. Social emotional learning is relevant and very necessary. 

When I started in education in the 90’s I didn’t learn about social emotional learning, it wasn’t a hot topic. Honestly, I didn’t even know what it was when I was doing it. I just knew that it worked and over the years I perfected my craft because I never believed in leaving a student behind. How did I do it? I did it by focusing on relationships with my students, families, and school community.

I’ve always known that classroom routines and procedures are crucial to effective classroom management. I was great at implementing both, but it was not enough. My students did not always buy in, they needed a reason to trust me. They needed to know that I cared, above all they needed to know that I wanted to be there in the classroom with them. They needed to see that I was dedicated to their growth. The truth of the matter is that they also needed a reason to be present. Sometimes telling a child that something needs to be done simply because “you told them so” isn’t sufficient. Some students come to you with more baggage than others, they carry it throughout the school day. It shows up as misbehavior and it makes it hard to break down barriers to success if it is ignored. The baggage becomes the elephant in the room, everyone knows it’s there, but no one is willing to acknowledge its’ presence. I worked for administrators who chose to walk around with blinders on because it was easier for them to point the finger than it was to find solutions that worked.

Implementing social emotional learning requires a shift in mindset. Nothing that I learned in my studies really prepared me to address the behavioral challenges that I faced in the classroom. I learned about how to create lesson plans, I learned about educational pedagogy, I learned about what an effective curriculum looked like. I even learned about the differences between urban and suburban schools. What I did not learn about was how to address those stark inequalities that students of color faced in urban school settings. What’s the point of learning about problems in your field if you’re not working toward solutions? Acknowledging Kwanzaa once a year and focusing on Black history only in the month of February did not cut it. I had to become very intentional about my approach to teaching and learning. I reflected on my own experiences as a learner growing up in the same community. I had to be confident in my teaching abilities. To teach anything effectively requires personal buy in.

I could not always solve my students’ problems, but I was always willing to address them. I implemented circles, frequent check-ins, conflict resolution, and opportunities for students to express their emotions. Being open to hearing about what’s working and what’s not working in your classroom from your students empowers them. I was the teacher, but it was our classroom, a safe space for academic learning and emotional growth.

I chose to focus on the positive, not the negative. My students were used to hearing about what was wrong. They were given every reason why they should fail. The schools that I taught in had a 99% free or reduced lunch rate and high crime. My students’ lived-in poverty-stricken communities where violence was prevalent. I did not need to point out their faults, society had that handled. I acknowledged positive behaviors, and any progress that they made. When it came to misbehavior, I remained respectful and calm. I did not embarrass them or take it personally. I did not allow students who misbehaved to produce and direct a show that I knew would be hard to bring my class back from. I dealt with misbehavior strategically. Focusing on the positive more than the negative was a game changer.

Eventually I learned how to embed social emotional learning into my everyday instructional practices. I am a firm believer in MTSS. Behavior and academics work in unison. The difference is how they're used together to support the individual needs of all students. My experience as an educator has taught me that you lose nothing from addressing the mental well-being of your students, but you can lose each and every one of your students by not acknowledging the inequities that exist. Our educational system was not designed with all students in mind. For some underserved students, social emotional learning can mean the difference between life and death. Growing up in the inner city comes with challenges, you're exposed to violence and poverty. Students who live in these types of environments are not taught how to cope with these challenges. Social emotional learning, when implemented correctly, provides the mental supports needed for students to understand their own feelings so that they can deal with conflict, and not just survive but thrive.

How did I know that SEL worked? I knew that it was working when I was able to spend more time on teaching and less time addressing disciplinary issues. I knew that it was working when my students were comfortable expressing their feelings so that we could work on roadblocks together. My students were resilient, I knew that social emotional learning was working when they were able to check each other about misbehavior. I would sit back and observe, they knew what to do and how to do it. They took ownership of their learning and protected their safe space. I knew that it was working when their perspective about school changed, their work effort showed that they wanted to be present. I knew that it was working when student achievement increased drastically. I knew that it was working when students could use what they learned in class to address challenges that they faced outside of school. I had more leaders than followers.

Quite honestly, today I know that social emotional learning works because I’ve been able to implement it in classrooms and school wide. I’ve been able to reduce referrals by almost half in less than a year. Imagine people who have never stepped foot in an urban school, inner-city classroom, or any classroom for that matter, intentionally focusing on why social emotional learning does not work. Considering the state of education today, we have nothing to lose but everything to gain from implementing social emotional learning in every classroom. How SEL is implemented matters, the approach matters, consistency matters, equity matters, buy in from staff and student’s matter. Social emotional learning is not something extra. As educators and parents, we need to get on board and advocate for what's best for students. We must be willing to put the heart work in to learning.